Liberation!

Chemistry sucked la, I don’t understand why are the papers all so freaking hard, and I do pray hard that I erased my answers clean enough if not I’ll really die man. While I was checking if my set of question booklet has 20 pages (!!), I was trying to browse at the type of questions, and the questions had long preamble, and the organic chem part totally was sucky; the organic structure was so huge, so abstruse that the structure alone can take up half a page, and the options was just one string of CH3CH2OCH2COOH kind, so we’ll need much more thinking to break it down. And we only had 1 hour for freaking 40 questions. Is that crap or is that crap.

Met up with Steph (finally!) and wooo even though I was a little tired after the freaking paper, the conversations we had were so hilarious and awesome, and there seemed to be endless stuff to catch up on, we chatted for a long time non-stop. Sigh I missed secondary school luh, it seemed pretty calm than in JC and things were relatively much easier. It always heartens me a lot when I hang out with old friends; you know how most people you know in the past are just passer-bys in you life and there are only some you get to keep. The whole process’s going to start when JC life ends, and time will tell who are the ones you get to keep.

Then went off to meet Alice for the briefing HAHA it was pretty funny, because she said there was this guy sitting behind us making growling noises (reminds me of Justin HAHAHA).

Today’s a hectic day zzzzzzzz and even though it’s liberation day, I felt nothing; probably because the sinking feeling is on par with the happiness of finally ending A Levels.

“Right now I’d like all my troubles to stand in front of me in a straight line, and one by one I’d give each a black eye. “
- Shannon Hale

Friday seemed to be the last time I’ll see my classmates for a long time (well, until prom at least) and at the same time I smell semi-liberation in the air so I felt a little bittersweet.

The next two weeks would probably be crucial to me, as I try to spend more time for myself and away from school drama. It’s been a pretty hectic period the intensifying stress I put on myself had indeed drove me to the edge. Thank God for pulling me through, and hearteningly, it’s finally ending on Monday. All the papers have been sucky (and I mean it) and I felt like crying after every paper because I simply felt that it wasn’t good enough. I have this certain problem: academics is probably the only thing I have a chance in doing well and if I don’t, I don’t know what I’m going to do. So, I’m trapped in the ‘performance trap’; I’m hard on myself for not being…sufficient for anything or anybody. Don’t worry, I’m trying very hard to get out of it, and I will get out soon I hope.

I’ve been dreaming every night, even in my naps, and I think I’m going crazy HAHA, some are good dreams, some are not that great; my sister said I was violent in my sleep and even sleep-talking (more like maundering) must be Bella passing her dreaming disease to me.

Shall make my two weeks as fulfilling as possible manzzzz. And I will be brave for the rest of the 8 months to come.

(: